Kids don’t always do as they’re told.
If our kids were our employees, we’d have sacked them several times over, right?
Sure, there’ll be some parents that say “Mine do EXACTLY what they’re told every time”, and if you’re into your kids being scared of you, then that’s fine. For me though, I tend to think that young children are only just getting the hang of which tasks are serious, and which they can have a bit of fun with you about. They’re bound to get it wrong sometimes.
There’s also instances of course, when they’re just being a downright shizz, and you’re running late.
Do you just let them have it in this scenario? They deserve telling off after all.
No.
Not through any cotton wool treatment of your stubborn little darling you understand, but because I’ve just said you’re running late! Any angry confrontation at this point is only going to cause things to escalate, make you even later, and leave both parties feeling bad afterwards. You’re the parent here; you can think your way around this. You know your child’s weaknesses; use them to your advantage!
The Crystal Maze Technique
My stepdaughter inexplicably took a shine to watching 90s reruns of The Crystal Maze with me on Challenge TV (I think this is because I told her that the people who fail the tasks actually do get locked in the room forever). She’d ask for it all the time, and to be honest it was better than sitting through more episodes of Sam & Cat.
What I hadn’t realised initially, was that I’d essentially won the TV lottery when it comes to getting kids to complete chores. After finding the theme song on YouTube, all I had to do was shout “THIS ONE’S A PHYSICAL TASK. YOU’VE ONLY GOT TWO MINUTES STARTING…NOW”, and play the tune at full volume. She’d instantly run upstairs and get changed in record time. Whether it was the fun of role-playing as a contestant, or a fear of actually being locked in her room if she didn’t get it done, there’s no mistaking that it bore results.
I understand that not all kids are going to be as enamoured with the Crystal Maze as my stepdaughter. This can be applied to lots of other shows though. Let them pretend to be one of the dogs on Paw Patrol that needs to get dressed and out of the station in time to respond to an emergency for example.
Tap Into Their Competitive Side
Kids are competitive. They want to know if their peers are as fast, as tall, or as good at naming all the characters on Hey Duggee as they are.
You can harness the power of this competitiveness and make it work for you!
If you’ve got a member of your family (sibling/cousin/friend’s kid) who is just a year or two older than yours, then this works nicely.
Next time your bundle of sunshine is refusing to put their shoes on, all you need do is feign receiving a phone call.
“Oh hi Sandra, can’t talk right now because we’re in a rush. Yes, yes. Well we’re running late because little Derek struggles a bit to put his shoes on. What’s that? Your Tarquin puts his on really quickly? In just 30 seconds? All by himself? That’s amazing!”
By the time you’ve hung up on your imaginary call, you’re almost guaranteed to find that little Derek has not only got his shoes on, but he’s also cleaned, polished and re-heeled them just in an effort to stick it to Tarquin.
Timebomb
This is really just a variation of the Crystal Maze Technique. This one requires no prior interest in 90s TV game shows though.
We use the Beck song ‘Timebomb’ for this, but you could just as easily substitute it for something else. Bear in mind though that it has to be up-tempo and SHORT. If the song’s too long, there’s no challenge or reason for your children to exert themselves.
For us, Timebomb is just the right length to allow my son to put his school clothes on. If anything goes wrong however, such as a top put on back-to-front, or a missing sock, then time really is against him. I usually try to keep a sock hidden or a jumper inside out for this very reason. KIDS LOVE THE MILD PERIL.
We know that as soon as the female singer starts to come in, that we need to get out! This almost always results in us jumping out of his room action-movie-style as we imagine the bedroom blowing up.
This is perhaps the most effective technique, but you’ll need to put some effort in. If you’re just stood there scrolling through Facebook whilst the room is about to explode, your child isn’t going to buy into the drama. You need to be pacing up and down, throwing stuff in the air and generally pushing everything along to create the buzz needed.
Do you know what, maybe just shouting until my kids are scared of me might actually be a lot less hassle! I have to admit though, that I secretly love breaking out my inner Bruce Willis in order to leap out of the room just in time to avoid an explosion. I reckon I need to film it in slow motion next Monday morning.
Need to take a breather while keeping your kids entertained? Check out the lazy parent’s guide to playing.
What do they get up to at school? Get them to sing like a canary, and tell you about their school day.
Got a smaller one too? Find out how to read your baby’s mind here.