Way back when I was around five years old, my mother took me to my GP to ask him about my hyperactivity. Being the mid-1980s though, the doctor simply dismissed me as an “ebullient child”. Despite that apparent confirmation of being neurotypical though, If I were to ask my GP today “have I got ADHD?”, I’d suspect the answer might be somewhat different.
Fast forward almost 35 years, and the ‘H’ aspect of ADHD is long gone. No longer do I watch telly whilst simultaneously bouncing on a space hopper, nor do I run up and down the lounge and climb up door frames like I used to, but there’s still a few issues that an ADHD diagnosis could explain.
Have I got ADHD?
Recently, my wife forwarded on to me several TikTok videos describing ADHD in adults (I must admit that TikTok is far from the first place that I’d seek out medical advice, but regardless, this is what started the ball rolling).
Since that initial diagnosis of simply being an energetic and “ebullient”child, I must admit that I shared my then-doctor’s sentiments. I wasn’t overly convinced that ADHD wasn’t just a fancy term giving to naughty kids nowadays, and that he was right to dismiss my mother. All kids are constantly bouncing around, aren’t they?
The symptoms the young TikTokker mentioned in his videos though, felt like a rap sheet of historic charges levelled against me.
Terrible listener? Check!
Ridiculous procrastinator? Check!
Awful punctuality? Check!
The list went on and on (I think it did anyway, I’d got distracted and stopped listening – haha). Seriously though, the whole group of videos felt like he was talking about me specifically.
Now there’s two points I should make here.
Firstly, I’m aware of old psychological tricks that entail the listing of certain personality traits that sound oddly specific to a person, yet in reality cover almost everybody. This wasn’t one of them. Just by using the three traits listed above, I can safely say that I know many folk who are always punctual and fantastic listeners. Plenty of folk do say they procrastinate though, and this leads me on to the second point.
Many will recognise themselves partially in at least some of the symptoms, but a suggestion of ADHD comes in when those symptoms are so frequent that they start to negatively affect your life. I’ve lost count of the amount of times that I’ve had warnings at work, university, and even school for being late, for example.
It goes without saying that any suspicion of ADHD needs to go beyond a few TikTok videos though. A quick scout around more reliable sources like the NHS site, however, only seemed to solidify the notion that I probably have it. Amongst the new potential symptoms I was discovering was one that really seemed to hit home: underachievement at work. Starting way back with my school reports and into the workplace too, I’ve been regularly described as “not meeting my potential”, “too easily distracted”, and in some cases, just plain lazy.
Some sites suggest that in some cases, adults with ADHD can even find themselves hopping between several jobs and professions without settling. This is something that has often infuriated those around me. As I see my friends prosper in careers that they settled down in long ago, I’ve jumped around in a frankly ridiculous number of professions. Since entering the workplace I’ve been an insurance advisor, sign maker, graphic designer, diabetic eye screener for the NHS, English teacher, sports journalist, fruit and veg supermarket worker, car washer, finance administrator, quality controller at a car importers, and an SEO copywriter. Shamefully, even that list is an abridged version, as there’s been plenty more than that! Luckily for me, I realised a few years ago that writing as a freelancer affords me the flexibility and variety that I seem to need, and that’s where I find myself now.
‘Hyperfocus’
It’s been much the same with hobbies. I’ve acquired so many over the years that I often joke that my hobby is collecting hobbies. According to some sources, this can be attributed to something called hyperfocus. This is when something interests you so much that you suddenly devour everything you can by either finding out more or working on something. I can be browsing the internet before bedtime, and then have to stay up all night learning everything about edible seaweed just because I saw some meme about the beach.
Early on in our relationship, my wife saw this first hand, as instead of working on my literature dissertation that was due in a few days, I decided to learn everything there was to know about vintage wristwatches instead. She (and I, if I’m honest) couldn’t get her head round why I’d decide to do this when I had such a major deadline looming. She was surprised even further when the next day I had a near-hour-long chat with a local antique dealer about vintage watches, after knowing nothing at all about the subject just days before.
Since then, she’s become accustomed to my flights of fancy, and tries admirably to rein me in. She knows that if I’m looking a bit too focused, I might be sneaking off to the loft with a keyboard to record a terrible avant-garde concept album. Perhaps she’ll notice that I’ve suddenly got a calculator out, and I might be writing up a business plan for a laundro-restaurant that washes your clothes whilst you eat.
So, have I got ADHD?
Several online tests (which don’t take the place of an actual assessment) described me as showing the signs of “severe ADHD”. This was a bit of a surprise in a way. The wording of “severe ADHD” especially. Is it really that bad? There’s only one real way to find out. This is just one of the reasons that I’m seriously considering a proper ADHD assessment. While it’s fair to say that I’ve got this far without any help, it’s also true that there’s been some times when I definitely could have used a bit of a hand.
A diagnosis would hopefully help me to understand how to control the symptoms. This would be invaluable in itself. If I could find anything to just help my punctuality, or stop me losing my car keys, then I’d be absolutely delighted! There’s also the possibility of certain medication for some ADHD cases. I’m not sure what they prescribe for such conditions, but I imagine them to be like the pills from the movie, Limitless: magically lifting my brain fog to allow me to effortlessly focus on tasks. While I doubt that’s the case, I’d certainly be open to the possibility of trying treatments and techniques that can make my life a little easier.
Once I have a proper assessment done, I’ll be sure to write a follow up post. I imagine there must be loads of similarly aged folk out there who still have no idea that their little foibles and idiosyncrasies could actually be symptoms of ADHD. I’ll even let you know if I’m found to be neurotypical (although that now might suggest that I actually am just a lazy scatterbrain instead!).