When you wake up in the morning, you’re most likely a picture of Zen calm. The light shines through the curtains just right, the kids are happy, and all is well in the world. Fast forward to an hour and ten meltdowns later, and the chances are that ‘Shouty Dad’ has reared his ugly head.
You know the guy, he’s out of control, quick to anger, and he takes over before you know. We’ve all been there. But, you needn’t let Shouty Dad take over any longer. We’ve got some top tips that’ll help you to stop him in his tracks at last!
1 – Remember That You’re the Adult
It’s easy to lose your head when you’re parenting, but, we’re here to tell you straight – you need to remember that you’re the adult in this situation.
It’s totally normal for your kids to whinge, moan, disagree, shout, scream, you name it. They’re children! They have a lot to learn, and those lessons don’t always come easy. But, you’re an adult, and if you react to these situations by shouting, screaming, moaning, and whingeing, then you’re doing something wrong.
Instead, teach Shouty Dad a lesson by showing him effective parenting that includes setting firm boundaries, meeting your children’s needs, and telling them ‘no’ when necessary, all without slipping into childlike behaviours yourself.
2 – Address Your Vices Before Blaming the Kids
Shouty Dad loves to play the blame game, and he’s sure to let the kids know exactly why his feelings are all their fault. And, sure, the arguments and constant moaning can be hard to deal with. But if Shouty Dad keeps coming through, then he’s probably feeding off your vices more than he is those of the kids.
Drinking and smoking are especially problematic vices as a parent, because they leave you with an automatically shortened fuse, and can also impact your ability to think clearly. So, why not try cutting out that last drink in the evening, or replacing your morning smoke with a quick puff on a vape to see if these small changes serve to silence Shouty Dad?
If you notice yourself feeling calmer, then it’s well worth leaning into these positive lifestyle changes, especially when you know you have a solo parenting day coming up.
3 – Ask What’s Missing
Shouty Dad feeds off the lacking areas in your life, so it’s also worth considering what’s missing. From a lack of sleep to a lack of self-care time in the evenings, it can all add up to a loss of temper during your parenting days.
Even if these things seem unrelated to your anger in the moment, you can bet addressing them with things like an earlier bedtime or a little you-time after the kids are asleep, will see Shouty Dad making way less appearances in those tricky moments!
Sending Shouty Dad packing will help with your sanity and keep your kids happier, so start packing his case by removing his place in your home using these tips.